Total Planker


Hello Dears,

And apologies for being such a slacker recently. Sometimes certain events overtake you and you forget to post cute pictures of otters or outrage at how coffee can allegedly both cause and prevent cancer and then you’ve missed another week of Shoe Tuesday and, well, you can see how this continues.

I’ve been wracking my brains on what to post for your viewing pleasure tonight. Arnie’s Secret Love Child? Mother gives 8-year-old pageant daughter botox then loses custody of her? Or the reasons why I think my cat may have an eating disorder?

Hmmm. Let’s start with Planking.

We of the media are a bit slow on the uptake, but once we find out what idiotic things “the kids” are doing these days, we go and make it fashionable. And make ourselves look almost as bad as the muppets who do it.

Here’s a quote from an *ahem* reputable television news program:

“Planking is not illegal in Australia…yet”.

And neither it should be. Because once you ban planking, you’ve got to ban jaeger bombs (oh hang on, WA has already done that), body surfing on moving cars and all kinds of things that stupid people like. Has anyone heard of the Darwin Awards?

Horrific injuries and deaths by idiotic deeds hurt as much as accidental sensible ones. But come on. Let’s not start blaming the internet or the media or banning things. You can’t always legislate for stupid people (although WA is certainly trying and making life less fun for the rest of us). Stupid people do stupid things. Add alcohol and youth and well – here’s planking.

I once tried to perform “the lift” from Dirty Dancing* in the kitchen of a top notch hotel with a friend at 2am on New Year’s Day with limited success, but I learned from my mistake and I certainly wouldn’t have tried it six stories up.

* This is not me. In fact, this is the antithesis of what I tried that night. Learn the lesson. Move on

But seriously, let’s not make balancing on things illegal. If we are going to make things illegal, I’d suggest cheating on your partner should be against the law. Making ill-informed racist and bigoted comments on news websites anonymously should be illegal. Being a douchebag, too, should be a contravention of a country’s laws.

And as someone pointed out to me recently, it looks like planking, in some forms, could be good for your core strength. They might introduce it to gymns. None that I’d go to, but still.

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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