Australian Supermarkets are Shit Part 2

Oh Dear.

Coles and Woolworth’s have stepped up their PR campaign. Woolies has said they will refund the cost of any fruit and veg you buy from them that you are disatisfied with. No receipt required, no questions asked. Coles have said they always do that.

It’s a no-brainer. So who actually buys shit fruit and veg from them, then would take it back after getting home and realising it’s shit and saying, “that’s ok, I’ll go back tomorrow and get a refund”? no one. Would anyone buy crap stuff from someone else and then return it to Coles and Woolies? No. It’s a moot point.

I once bought feta from Coles and after throwing it into a very impressive salad, realised the bloody stuff was off and had ruined my dinner. I demanded the full refund for everything in my salad. I’m glad to say they complied, but possibly only because I looked like that kind of customer who was going to make a massive scene in front of everyone and may require restraining. But it was too late. Last night’s dinner = ruined.

These chaps (and Coles may start it and Woolies claim they’d like to be nice but have no option but to follow suit) are actively destroying the Australian dairy industry. They are stuffing up local growers and fooling customers with false discounts.

But it’s ok, when I go to Coles, there is a woman standing there to hand me my basket. I don’t need help with that you muppets. I’d like you to have free range eggs at 6.30pm on a Tuesday night. I’d like you to have things I actually need and want. Stuff. Shelves with stuff on them. Jesus wept.

And poor old IGA? what are they doing? They have a sad little van in the car park with a neon sign on the top of it, begging you to come in and buy something. Which I do, on occasion, because I feel a bit sorry for them. But only if I need one thing that they will probably have, like milk or packing boxes and certainly not if I need fresh produce.

Don’t just stand there. Do something for Chrissake!*

Australians are very good at whinging about things like “the government” or “illegal boat people” (who are not illegal by the way) but less good at demanding sports stars don’t abuse women or yell racial slurs. They don’t make much noise and vote with their feet when the big four banks raise rates over and over again. They don’t express disatisfaction when they are being rorted by supermarkets and screwed over by health insurance companies.

When the UK joined France in protesting about fuel prices and crippled the country by supporting truck drivers, I was kinda proud. What is a bit of inconvenience to get your point across? When an Irish bank making huge profits threatened to cut thousands of jobs, a radio announcer suggested everyone go and withdraw their money. They did. Jobs were saved. (apologies, I should reference these events but I’m too lazy. They did totally happen though).

I don’t mean to come across like a commie hippie pinko, cos I’m not. I pay taxes.  I trust the system to work mostly. But sometimes, just sometimes, we need a wave of protest. We need to stop puttin up with shit and being taken advantage of. To refuse to be treated like we are stupid. And we need more people to see the niche in the market and not let our laziness and inability to act allow fucktards to profit off our miserable backs.

Oops. I got a bit carried away there. But you get the point.

*I realise this cat picture has very little to do with the subject matter. Please use your imagination.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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One Response to Australian Supermarkets are Shit Part 2

  1. Lisa says:

    This is in no way related to this post (although boo to shitty supermarkets, that sucks) but read your email. Now. NOW! I have set you a very important task….

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