Not My World


So, Number 126 on the list of Things That Annoy Me: the new ANZ bank adverts.

I don’t know who the self-proclaimed advertising genuis is was who came up with this advertising campaign, but whomever you are – you’re a douchebag.

The slogan is: “We Live in Your World”. The subtitle is: We’ve hired a formally Australian now American with Yank accent superstar who makes shitloads of money to make like he “understands” you and your money woes and what you need from a bank.

AND – the advert is filmed in LA. Not SA, Los Angeles. I’m not sure how that fits with my world or the world of any of ANZ’s customers but anyway…

*I’m not going to link to the offending advert, but you get the idea with this still. Rolex, aftershave, anyone?

“I know what you’re thinking,” Simon Baker (star of The Mentalist ) says in the multi-million dollar advert. Then he says some other stuff about banks and people and what we want or think and I have no idea because I have stopped listening and just got annoyed.

Me: Of course you fucking don’t. I’ve just spent 45 minutes on the phone changing car insurance companies to save myself $120 in a whole year. Because that’s what we do. That’s the world we live in.

I buy things off coupon websites I don’t need and I worry about my rates and council tax and electricity bills. I’ve down-graded to cask wine and cleanskins. I search down the back of the couch for loose change. I get pissed and order a shitload of books of Amazon on my credit card and forget I’ve done it. That’s my world.

 I don’t have conversations about my “local” (Australian) bank in a US accent with a woman at a cafe who clearly is also American and clearly Doesn’t Live in My World and doesn’t wonder why TV superstar Simon Baker is wanking on about banking to her while she’s sipping a moccacino or whatever.

Dear ANZ: I’d be impressed if I thought you were being ironic. You’re not. You don’t live in my world. Simon Baker looks like he is selling Rolexes, not banking facilities. He lives in a world where smiling at someone gets you credit. Not one where the only reaction to getting your rates in the post makes you either cry or punch someone. Stop spending my hard earned credit card interest on being stupid and patronising. That is all.

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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