I’ll Cry if I Want To


*This post has a point, I’m just requiring you to make some effort until it becomes clear.

So tonight I almost might have lost my darling former house cat, now escape artist to the outside world of dangers and cars and shit only she finally came home to find me in inconsolable tears.

Note: Cats are bitches.

Aanyway. I found myself crying, not only because I imagined all the million horrible things that had befallen her and how much I would miss her and love her because she has been the only stable (and sometimes annoying) thing in my life for the last eight years, but I found myself crying about EVERYTHING. All the things that had gone wrong, all the things that were likely to go wrong in the future. How I had fucked up my life. What on earth was I doing? And Why? And where was the fucking cat?

You see how this can continue. In short, apart from losing (and subsequently being reunited with) said cat after a few hours, I needed to let it go. Even after her slightly skulking “what are you talking about?” return, I managed to weep and weep  and snot and bubble for another half an hour, making incomprehensible noises to The Chap.

This rather unwieldy and probably irritating post actually does have a point. Sometimes we all need release. We need to cry like our heart is breaking (perhaps it is and we just never paid it any attention). Sometimes it is really fucking good to have a big old bawl at something that seems a bit daft to other people.

Such as at movies.  You can pretend to be swept away by the emotion and the moment and yet are entitled to weep about your failures, your lost youth, the One that Got Away. Even once the movie is over, but only for a few minutes. Be warned, the charm (in front of others) has a short life before people and partners think you are Mental. And they’d be right.

So: Because I am probably dead inside I have never cried at Bridges of Madison County, Steel Magnolias or Beaches.

However, if you’d like to appear sane in front of other people or have a good old decent cry by yourself, here’s some films that won’t make you compromise:

* I did not make this list, merely chose a few “not so bad” ones from other lists. So yes, it is my list. But just movies that have co-incided with feelings of weakness and loneliness. Go directly to no. 8 if you are serious about this.

1. The Champ (scientists have actually PROVEN this is the saddest movie ever. Only watch this if you have gin on standby)

2. Schindler’s List (are you kidding me? If you don’t feel emotion then you are a horrible person)

3.  Up (cartoon, still bit of a tear-jerker)

4. Bambi (as above. Even worse, actually)

5. Philadelphia (groundbreaking in its time, don’t discount the power: sad, sad, sad)

6. It’s a Wonderful Life (Christmas? sad bits? Am I wrong?? No, I’m not)

7. Sex and the City: The Movie (first one). Ok, so I cried watching Carrie get ditched at the alter. I was feeling fragile and alone and somewhat abandoned. So sue me.

8. Truly, Madly Deeply. This is the movie that ALWAYS gets me going. Whether it is Juliet Stevenson’s dribbly honest-to-goodness crying snot or the scenario with Alan Rickman that speaks to every impulse we have when someone we love dies, I can’t tell. If you want to have a big fat blub, pick this one. And buy tissues.

I’ve left off films like The Diving Bell and the Butterfly etc because this is about crying, not about being totally depressed. Crying is good for you. People of Science Say So. I feel better. Don’t you?

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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