Let’s Talk About Sex (tapes) Baby

So. Let’s talk sex tapes. Have you made one? Are you a celebrity? Have you sold it and pretended it wasn’t you to lift your ailing profile? (I’m looking at YOU Kardashians and possibly Paris Hilton).

More specifically Rihanna. Jesus, isn’t your entire show a sex tape? Most people whould be interested in seeing you cook spaghetti bolognese in a tracksuit, we’ve seen so much of your chuff recently. AH, sex tapes and celebrities. I can’t see the attraction myself. I’d rather have sex than watch myself have sex and look quite unflattering.

Ok, Sex Tapes are SO the other year. Let’s talk taking naked pictures of yourself on your phone. Done that recently? I thought not. Or if you did and managed, after about 50 takes, to find one that didn’t make you look like a hooker/fat cow/transvestite, did you download it onto a secret file on your computer, probably for viewing after you become old/fat/a grandmother to reassure yourself you were alright looking once?

Not if you are Scarlett Johansson you didn’t. Jesus, the woman has enough hot pictures of herself naked from adverts, movies et all without taking the kind of “ooh, look at me, I’m just out of the shower and I dropped my towel and I look awesome and I shall keep this on my phone” pictures.

I wish I looked like Scarlett. I don’t. But I still reckon I wouldn’t keep naked pics of myself on my phone. Maybe send them to someone who’d humiliate me in future, but keep them, no. Well good on ya Scarlett. Sue the bastards because hacking is mean an horrible and illegal. But at least you are you and your arse looks hot.



About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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