Wedding Bella-s


Well, after the shennanigans of the Royal Wedding and the sheer disppointment of the red top newspapers that there was no T and A to look at, one had to grab hold of something, didn’t one? And that was Pippa Middleton’s “arse”.

She had a nice silhouette, I grant you, but no arse to speak of. But let that not put us off from allowing the UK gutterpress to laud her “arse” all over town, dub her “her royal hotness” and run articles that say either a) Pippa’s arse wasn’t real or b) How to get an arse like Pippa. I almost feel sorry for her.

In any case, if you were a bit to much of an adult to buy your nuptuial gown from Disney collection (ha!) and thought copying Pippa or Kate’s wedding outfits was a bit too much, never fear! The same muppet who brought you the Beauty and the Beast Gown (or similar) has brought out a Bella Off Twilight Wedding Dress. It looks a bit like (or almost exactly the same as) this:

It’s not to my taste (but then again, neither is Twilight or weddings and getting married) But if you’re thinking of getting this I’d advise one of two things:

Either DO NOT TELL ANYONE EVER that it’s the dress from Twilight and hope no one in our wedding party will make the connection OR

Go the whole Hog. Paint your fiance a deathly white and get everyone else to dress up as wolves or vampires or whatever and have your wedding on a cold rainy day. Cos that would actually be almost fun.

PS Edward isn’t real. No really, not even in the vampire world.

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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