I’d forgotten how amusing I could be when I tried. Here’s a post from the Vaults (new readers and old friends). I only remember this because I got an urgent missive from Aleisha the other night (whilst still in the throes of Gastro Hell) saying simply: Turn on Gem immediately. How can one refuse, even when one can barely lift one’s hand to switch the remote? It was, of course Dirty Dancy on Le TV. SO here’s a wee recap of some shit I wrote ages ago on this very blog (how lazy) about the best 80s/90s movies Ever Made
Of course, I’ve neglected many, many others. Gremlins, for example. Labyrinth (oh BOWIE), The Princess Bride, Gleaming the Cube (which was shit but we all watched it because we loved Christian Slater) AH, there are so many. One day I’ll do a proper post on this. Instead, have this from a year ago….
*PS I may also be doing this because I’ve re-read my archives and I’m slightly concerned I was more amusing / entertaining ages ago as opposed to now. Silver star: must try harder.
Movies that Made Us
If you haven’t seen all of these movies then it’s almost slightly not-too-late. Watch the ones you knew and loved in the dark, alone, with a bottle of wine, then slip in one or two you missed. It will almost like being aged 10-15 again. Honest.
Bender, you and that earring. And Mollie Ringwald. And the crazy girl that ate sugar from the packet. And the nerdy guy and Emilio Estevez in a football jacket. When that film finished you just knew life was going to be better somehow. Maybe. But at least you had figured out how to do that trick where Mollie puts on lipstick with her tits. That would definitely come in handy in the future.
Memorable quote:Bender: I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts
Do I even have to say anything? Remember how your mother banned you from seeing it because it had the word “dirty” in it? And then your friend got her older sister to rent it from the video store and all six of you lay on the livingroom floor with eyes like saucers during that sleepover? Yes, I’m talking about THAT time. Just don’t talk about that other time you tried to recreate it, especially “the lift”.
Memorable quote:All of them. Like I could choose.
The Lost Boys (1987)
OK, so we may have tried to relive our youth through Twilight (that was before True Blood came along and it was all grown up and shit and we could openly admit to liking growner upper Vampire porn, not the virignal stuff). Again. But this movie really started it all. Jason Patric – those eyes – am I right? Ok, so he was about five years to old to be playing his character, but what a performance.
Memorable quote:Sam Emerson: Look at your reflection in the mirror. You’re a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You’re a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait ’till mom finds out, buddy!
I’m Red. No seriously, I am. Let’s forget Winona Ryder likes nicking things from expensive shops for a second and remember her how she was. In Beetlejuice and in Heathers. She was dark and brilliant and extreme. And made us feel like our own “dear diaries” were totally insufficient. Teenage Suicide (don’t do it) was a catchy song and we discovered cow-tipping was a hobby in the good ole USA. Christian Slater looked older and more jaded, but he was still our anti-anti-hero. And seeing his finger blown off was pretty cool. We would stand up to bullies and definitely NOT kill ourselves. And maybe learn how to play croquet.
Memorable quote:Veronica Sawyer: It’s one thing to want someone out of your life, but it’s another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.
Pump up the Volume (1990)
PUTV broke new ground. It was more anarchic then we had ever experienced before. Harry Hard-On (Christian Slater) as per usual was playing a character MUCH younger than his (then, don’t look at him now) chiselled self, but his unique brand of sex, music and rebellion was ace. He said the word “cock” and lived in his basement and was the voice of youth. You wished you lived in America and your rich parents would neglect you and you could make Harry your boyfriend. AND there was almost proper nudity.
Memorable quote: Mark Hunter: Just look inside yourself and you’ll see me waving up at you naked, wearing only a cock ring.
There’s dozens I haven’t included, I know. This list ain’t exhaustive. But if you want to come round for a pillow fight and some popcorn with me, this is what you’ll get.