It’s All Fun Until Someone Loses an Eye

The internet is great, isn’t it? The internet is a playground, as David Thorne would say. What did we do before it happened? With the internet we can all be experts very, very quickly. We know stuff, we learn stuff, we over-share.

Also, the internet is now home to LOLCats and Otters That Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch, which is so cool, it’s hot.

I remember the first time I logged on to the internet. I was 17 and thought it was magic until I realised there were about 10 websites on the whole of it and they were terribly shit.

As far as I can tell, there are two things majorly wrong with it these days. Number one, journalists have to sit at their desks a lot and google stuff instead of going down the pub, getting shitfaced drunk and returning to the office with stories (maybe).

Number two: Social bollicking Media/networking. This is a tricky one. Sure, it’s great and all but when it is used to post thinly-disguised barbs at someone (read me) and all the fucking unemployed under-engaged “friends” sit clapping on the sidelines and fucking liking it (because they “like” anything and “liking” is much easier than, say, having a conversation or posting anything vaguely interesting or even knowing What the Fuck is Actually Going On), then it’s really a bit rubbish.

According the the experts, social media is a natural extension and expansion of our everyday lives. I say no, not really. Social media means you can insult, goad, fuck off and generally be a massive twat to someone from the safety of your chair at home. Things you might actually not do or say if they were standing in front of you. Hey, check out the comments on news websites if you don’t believe me.

And if you ever have accidentally or on purpose read comments on news websites and dispaired that such people exist and they are allowed to vote and use a computer, then you should read this site. It’s massively awesome and it will heal what ails ya: ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.

Facebook is the McDonald’s of social networking. You know you probably shouldn’t, then you think “fuck it” and you do it anyway. Later, you feel a bit of regret, but not enough to really feel contrite or not ever do it again, because you know you will.

I’m acutely aware of the irony that I am using a computer, the internet, a blog etc to vent my own frustrations (and possibly pent up vengeful anger) about social media and the people who use it to be massive twats but unlike Facebook et al, you can choose whether or not you want to read this. It’s not going to pop in in your face (or timeline) and hit you like a sledgehammer while you are at work. It’s not going to be all snide and nasty (although I am guilty of both those things from time to time) and sneaky and insensitive and doubly so when the people you KNOW (nay, suspect) don’t have a Fucking Clue what is going on tap their mouse and Fucking Like it.

In fact, gripe #3 Where’s the bloody DISLIKE button? I wish to dislike this because it’s hurtful and insensitive and crap.

Social networking: It ‘s all fun until someone loses an eye. Or is prompted to write this load of nonsense because they are Mad as All Hell.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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