You Cannot Be Serious (What a Bingle)


Lara frickin Bingle has a new reality TV coming out? Being Lara Bingle? Is this a joke? I know TV stations love a bit of alliteration (who doesn’t? I love it when my first par has shitloads of it, makes me feel clever and amusing) but seriously?

She’s got weird eyes and a nice ass and is a complete idiot when it comes to media/self promotion etc and she’s stupid. She Cannot Literally Believe that someone took photos of her NAKED on her BALCONY (rented apartment, for the “reality” TV show because hers wasn’t reality TV show enough) and she’s all mad and shit.

No. Her best mate (possibly former now) with whom she owns a restaurant (because that’s what people with more money than sense do) confirmed the pictures were sent to her and her agent for approval before being released.

Also, who hangs around on their balcony naked? Lara, Lara, Lara, you can’t pull the wool over the media’s eyes. We’re smarter than you. We have degrees and shit. We have proper jobs that don’t involve fucking sportsmen and being on TV shows being ourselves.

Your poorly veiled attempt at getting publicity has bombed. Sure, I felt a wee bit sorry for you when Fevola (who’s a massive twat, but you slept with him) sent that picture of you in the shower around, which was despicable, but seriously, orchestrating (or even prancing around full stop) naked pics on your balcony is a bit too much. I’m guessing the station that commissioned the show has now realised No-one Gives a Fuck.

I have no idea what you do these days. And I couldn’t care less. I’d love to see a reality TV show about Leonard Cohen, Florence Welch, Alexander Skarsgard, even Megan Gale who I’ve interviewed a few times and is really lovely and much, much more interesting than you.

So seriously, stop trying to play us. We ain’t biting.

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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