You Don’t Live in My World You Weirdo

Oh, Simon Baker.

Your latest ANZ advert makes you look even more like a creepy stalker than perhaps you already are.

When you say that line of “I know what you’re thinking” the woman at the next table looks scared to bejesus and mumbles something about coffee. After scaring the woman half to goddam death with your “you’re thinking: do I have the right account” weirdness she says “I think I need to speak to someone”. She means the POLICE you fool. Stop looking smug, with any luck you’re going to get tasered.

You don’t “live in my world” any more than Toni Collette can con me with her poetry which I thought was a nice inspirational tome about overcoming depression, life’s hardships, homelessness, the difficulties associated with disability, cancer etc. Nope, you, you Collette who once said miners were “raping the earth” here in WA after making that movie, are taking cashola from one of the Big Four Banks who are fucking us all over by refusing to pass on rate cuts after joyfully raising them on the way up.

Congrats Simon (mentalist in the true sense of the word) and Collette. You’re both money-grabbing dicks. I’m glad my bank uses stuffed puppet squirrels to sell me shit.

Anyway, here’s a video taking the piss out of Mental Simon what’s his face. Enjoy.



About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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