Should You Care About TomKat’s Divorce?


Of course you should. What kind of person are you?

The Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes impending dissolution of their couch-jumping nuptials is important for many reasons. Here is a random collection of thoughts on the matter.

Firstly: One cannot marry the man of her dreams and it will end happily ever after. It won’t. Not for me or for you or for dear old Katie. If it’s too good to be true then….you know the rest.

2. If you’ve ever had a poster on your wall of the man in question, it’s going to end horribly. One day you will wake up and realise he’s a self-confessed alien, probably gay, committed to a crazy ‘religion’ and despite all his box office dollars, can’t act, not even in the bedroom. Way to throw the scent off the gay trail, Cruise.

3. He chose Sophie Vergara over you?? Sure, she said no, but aren’t you kind of a bit mad you were second, sorry, third choice?

4. Scientology. It’s a weird cult that makes you spend lots of money, makes your children commit themselves to the cause for a billion years and rots them in a ‘hole’ and believes we are all aliens. It was invented by a Sci-Fi writer for god’s sake. Bankrolled by celebrities including Will Smith. Cynical? Say What? Endy Story.

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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