Fresh Meat: Cookin’ Me Up Medium Rare

When I saw the first five minutes of this series I thought “oh fuck”. It had so much promise, it’s bloody terrible.

Half an hour later and I’m quite impressed. There are moments of comedy genius (“I have slow drying public hair” and “I’m making vegetable munge” and “our party’s terrible. I’m going down the pub to do a man harvest of randoms”) but you have to get past the bits where is really, actually seems like you are watching earnest sixth year high school students performing in their first ever play.

Sure some of it is a bit awkward and it’s a bit like a cross between The Young Ones and This Life but with more awkward sex and cack-handed innuendos. I’m not sure it’s comedy genius but it does have that hilarious fucker from Peep Show in it, even if he is chronically underused and given possible the worst dialogue.

In any case, I went to Edinburgh University with a bunch of posh spazs. We called them the Ya-Yas (onomatopoeic) cos they were are bunch of self-entitled bastards and Fresh Meat, whether I like it or not, has enough of the idiotic behaviour of posh spazs to twinge my nostalgia chords.

It also has a few other characters I lived with: the weird uber-Scottish one (who I think is in jail now), the rather gentlemanly super-posh one, the Irish (welsh) one with interesting cooking skills and a bunch of other girls who got laid a lot. I’m just missing the supercilious American exchange student we gave spiked mull-cookies because she was a bitch, a couple of posho-Scottish rugby players (boyfriends of housemates, ate all our food), the creepy drug dealer and a cleaner called Dennis who used to try and perv on everyone (he deliberately misunderstood the ‘bin is outside the door do not come in and clean I have company’ sign) and would gossip about everyone’s sex lives non-stop and do precious little cleaning.

Jesus I could fucking write this show. Starting with that time Dr Fox (real name, also a stone fox) made everyone in my English Lit tutorial read a verse of possibly the filthiest poem I have ever heard (Lord Rochester, what a perv).

It’s no Felicity, or Secret Life of Us or Skins or Girls. Sometimes it’s not very funny at all. Sometimes it’s comedic madness. Wind back to 1996, add a shitload more 50p vodka shots or $1 vodka and Red Bulls on a Wednesday night and add a dash more fucked up Scottish people and it’s very nearly my university experience.

Closing quote: “Is this the best you can do? I want an embarrassment of bitches.”


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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One Response to Fresh Meat: Cookin’ Me Up Medium Rare

  1. Lisa says:

    Please, bear with it, it gets better. I loved it by the end. Has some genius lines.
    Have you ever seen the In-betweeners? Massively cringey, full on teenage boy humour – absolutely hilarious. Has the geeky-meant-to-be-cute-one from Fresh Meat in it.
    Also – Gary Tank Commander (has the Scottish guy in it) Utter genius, but maybe only if you’re Scottish…
    Yes, I watch too much tv. I am ok with this.

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