Cat 1 – Dog 0

Cats might be bitches but dogs are their bitches.

Jack Dee once made a joke that you’re standing in your house putting up a shelf and your dog sits there with a smiley face saying “I love you I love you I love you”. The cat sits there eyeing you off slyly saying “I wouldn’t do it like that if I were you”.

It’s true. My cat judges me constantly and yet never offers support, help or advice. She likes to sleep on my face and has a uniquely irritating whine when she wants more food. She routinely draws blood from my guests and my black clothes are covered in cat fur.

On the plus side she covers up her own shit, doesn’t need to be walked, can be quite affectionate on occasion and mostly doesn’t talk back.

Aaaanyway, dog carries cat around. Takes it home and deposits it into house. Yeahs.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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