The Chap has a dubious habit of 3am snacking. Invariably when he has stayed over I find wrappers, half-drunk glasses of milk, the remnants of left-over pasta I was going to take to work for lunch scattered over the kitchen bench. Bastard. Sometimes he does this in his sleep. He should, by rights, be obese. Maybe he purges in the morning.
After one such snack-filled sleepover I trotted off to work and, as one does, wasted a good 30 seconds on Facebook. His status was thus:
Posted at 2.17am
Chap: So I’m sitting here in the middle of the night eating an off can of tuna to bring you this article I read on the internet blah blah blah
Me: Baby, there was no tuna in the house.
Me: Oh My God. You Ate Cat food!!
Chap: Fuck. Really? I thought it tasted horrible.
Me: It was tuna and whitebait in gravy. If you look at the can it says “cat food only. Not for human consumption.” But in your defence, the can does look similar to Greenseas Tuna in brine.
Me: OMG I can’t stop laughing.
Chap: I hate you.