Whilst talking about the Olympics and various sports I have accidentally revealed to friends, work colleagues and Le Chap that I have had lessons in the below-mentioned sports/hobbies/activities whilst at school:
Synchronised Swimming (I was seven. I was only allowed to skull and tread water a lot)
Horse Riding (anyone for a hack?)
Ice Skating (I was rubbish. And my parents have a video of me on actual TV being rubbish. They have shown it to every boyfriend I’ve had the misfortune to bring home)
Golf (Father signed my sister and I up to TWO golf clubs when we were born. To get a membership you had to wait until someone died. Imagine his disappointment 12 years later when we got in both accepted and had lessons and hated it to death)
Swimming (five days a week training from the age of nine til 13. Then mum made us stop incase we got ‘swimmers’ shoulders’ and looked like men)
Latin-American Ballroom Dancing (bronze and silver medallion achieved, thanks)
Squash lessons, tennis lessons, shooting (my sister). It’s such a shame my father didn’t breed a champion out of either of us. Poor bastard.
Aanyway, after calling me a Posh Spaz (repeatedly, over several days), The Chap and I were watching horse dancing or flip ball or whatever Olympic sport was on the telly and he said:
“I used to really like fencing when I did it at school.”
Pot. Kettle. Black. Much?
Yeah, maybe we can smell our own.