In Utero


If he wasn’t such a massive receptacle of douchebaggery, I might feel sorry for Todd Akin. Actually, that’s a lie. I don’t and I never will. So let’s mock him some more….

Here be Other Things Missouri Representatove Todd Akin Believes to be True About the Uterus, Besides Its Ability to “Shut Down” A Legitimate Rape.

Courtesy of Over at The Awl.

• The average uterus is “cash only.”

• When provoked or frightened, a uterus emits a high-pitched scream that instantly stuns its attacker.

• The natural enemies of the uterus are the locust, the hawk, the carpenter ant, and the witch.

• It is possible to use a uterus to determine the nearest source of fresh water or magnetic North but not both.

• A uterus will freeze at any temperature below that of 15C.

• It is possible to summon an inhabitant of the drowned city of Atlantis by blowing upon a uterus like a conch shell. This can be done only once.

• The more uteruses a woman can collect during her lifetime, the higher her status, and the more servants she will command, among the dead.

You can read the rest here.

Advertisements

About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s