Strata AGMs: Seventh Layer of Hell

Strata AGMs. Don’t they just make you remember how much you hate people?

Tonight (and no quorum, thanks fuckers, another $500 later, next week) I had the misfortune to sit next to the gobby-mouthed biatch who whinged about Every Single Thing whilst also making comment on Every Aspect of Her Sad Fucking Life and thought she was a) interesting b)somehow important c) funny.

Here be verbatim quotes from said lady:

“There are at least two cats in the building. I’ve just been dumped. I want a cat. If I’m not allowed to get a cat and be a crazy cat lady then no one should be”

Look lady, I had a cat there for five years. I know it’s against the bylaws of the strata for some crazy unknown reason, but don’t tell anyone. Get a cat. Get three. Who gives a fuck? Keep them indoors. Whatevs.

“There are people who park in my parking space. I don’t even know who they are. Someone told me those cars near the bin belong to a mother and son and the son is a P-Plater. They don’t live here. They can’t. Someone should tell them. There are also people who have two swipe cards and park two cars in there but a swipe card costs $120 and I can’t afford that so when I had the plumber round I just waited until he called then I swiped him in etc etc ad nauseum…”

Oh Jesus

Many people whinge about people parking illegally on the verge.

Me: You should call the council rangers. (in head: duh)

“I can’t afford to replace my fence and get reverse cycle airconditioning. I can only handle temperatures between 19 and 24 degrees. Then my life is shit. I’m half Pom, that’s why I say that, it’s like my little joke.”

No, the real joke is that the Strata has decided no one is allowed to install aircon units until we solve the problem of Getting More Electricity to the Building which will cost about $750,000 and will Basically Never Happen. Ha! I have aircon. Suck it, whinger.

“I don’t have a computer and the internet yet and I can’t get channel nine and if I don’t have the TV I basically have nothing to do.”

Get a cat.

Something along the lines of:  “there was an Indian family and the guy basically helped me move a dresser because he was so nice – surprisingly – and then there was another family and I think they were Punjabi or something but the wife was really rude and didn’t even know what I was saying”.


Cue: Lots of people whinge about the laundry not being cleaned more than once a month. How can a laundry get so dirty? People want general handyman/cleaner to come in twice a month so remove the lint from the dryer OFF THE FLOOR.

Apart from the young exasperately patient chairman of the council of owners, some hot guy who is sensible and a tradie (he agreed with me about calling the stupid rangers) and a 70-something-year-old French guy called Renee (who suggested we install solar panels), most people there were total muppets.

In conclusion, I’m joining the council of owners because these lunatics ain’t running/ruining my investment property asylum.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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One Response to Strata AGMs: Seventh Layer of Hell

  1. kate says:

    This made me laugh. It also made me want to get delightfully tipsy with you tomorrow, sugar tits. All is well in the world.

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