Simon ‘stalker’ Baker the Mentalist Does it Again

I’ve whinged about this before, but come on. Simon “the Mentalist” Baker and his goddamn ANZ ads? He comes off as a creepy stalker.

“I know what they’re thinking..” he says. Do you Simon? Do you? You’re perving in a weird rapey-eyes psycho nutbag Christian what the hell from Fifty Shade on an innocent family and we’re all thinking “eewww” and also: do you even have a bank account here?

We’re thinking: Yikes, the cost of living has gone up astronomically. Cancel Christmas and let’s sell the family dog. Or maybe the wife could sell her eggs. How much can one sell a womb for?

God, even CBA realised their stuff-up and gave Toni Collette a massively golden handshake and fucked her off after they realised a patronising poem read by a famous actress made people  less likely to shove their hard-earned dollars in the bank’s stupid face.

Simon, please take (what by now will be a terribly filthy) your waistcoat and your nonsense and your creepy stalkerness and nightvision goggles and please leave before I call the police.

Also, I’ve posted this before, but let’s have it again to illustrate my point.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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