I’ve whinged about this before, but come on. Simon “the Mentalist” Baker and his goddamn ANZ ads? He comes off as a creepy stalker.
“I know what they’re thinking..” he says. Do you Simon? Do you? You’re perving in a weird rapey-eyes psycho nutbag Christian what the hell from Fifty Shade on an innocent family and we’re all thinking “eewww” and also: do you even have a bank account here?
We’re thinking: Yikes, the cost of living has gone up astronomically. Cancel Christmas and let’s sell the family dog. Or maybe the wife could sell her eggs. How much can one sell a womb for?
God, even CBA realised their stuff-up and gave Toni Collette a massively golden handshake and fucked her off after they realised a patronising poem read by a famous actress made people less likely to shove their hard-earned dollars in the bank’s stupid face.
Simon, please take (what by now will be a terribly filthy) your waistcoat and your nonsense and your creepy stalkerness and nightvision goggles and please leave before I call the police.
Also, I’ve posted this before, but let’s have it again to illustrate my point.