* Gotten shitfaced drunk on margaritas with two awesome Irish girls I had never met before. Needless to say we spent a lot of the evening talking about flavours of crisps and shouting “INDICATORS” a la Clisare-style.
* Also gotten shitfaced drunk with my BFF Daniel who managed to “vogue” the bitchface cat. There is photographic evidence. We laughed out arses off then danced around my living room like pills.
* Been to the supermarket. Fallen asleep on my couch two nights running. Helped out work on my day off, Shouted at the TV alot. Looked at pictures of Henry Cavill. Shouted at the cat for whingeing because I won’t let her sleep on my lap. Read two romance novels. Refilled the ice-tray in the freezer. Ignored all the dishes. Killed the biggest mosquito I have ever seen. Pulled out 12 grey hairs. Made delicious pasta. Decided not really to give a fuck about anything, go to hot gross yoga more often, finish the goddamn stupid novel, quit smoking, not drink during the week and generally not do anything fun ever again until Christmas. Because tomorrow is Monday and I can convince myself that tomorrow I will be a changed person. Because it’s Monday. And perhaps one of these Mondays I’ll grow up and some man will marry me and make my mother happy.