To illustrate the point contained in this article about women being subjected to shitty behaviour by men, I give you this:
In the last month or so, these are just a few things that have happened to me.
1. Two cars of men shouting sexually explicit slurs? Invitations? Threats? at 10.30pm as my friends and I walked down a very busy street.
2. A weird looking man at a bus stop asking me to stop as I walked past in the middle of the day.
3. Another car full of men shouting “suck my cock” at me as I walked home alone (again on a busy street) at 8.30pm.
4. A man shouting “heee-eeey, I could take you home” at me and then as I walked past, head down, shouting “I wouldn’t have you anyway you fucking slut”.
5. And this is a doozy – My friend and I went to our local bar. I was upset. It was mid-week and we were having a quiet drink. We were consistently harassed by two men at the next table who would Not Take Fucking No For a Fucking Answer until we had to leave. As we did, my friend A told the barstaff about the trouble we had had. Another customer agreed he and his female friends had moved to get away from these idiots. Nothing was done. We left, they stayed. Hooray.
Seriously, we tried politely declining their invitations to join them for a drink. Three times. Then A (who is terribly polite) told them to “fuck off”. They went inside to play pool but continued to knock on the window at us. They came back and I snapped, using the only thing I could think of to get them to fuck the fuck off.
I shouted at them that someone had died and we were grieving together and they should leave us the hell alone (because saying we were not interested in their company wasn’t doing the trick). They looked slightly shamed and apologised and we thought that was the end of it. But I turned to A, who looked stunned and winked at her. ‘That’ll show them’ I silently inferred.
Unfortunately A has No Game Face At All and she smirked. The men realised this and began their onslaught anew. I screamed at them. Seriously, I fucking screamed like a harpie and yet these men would not leave us alone. So we left, looking behind us to make sure they had not followed.
Not one person within earshot did a fucking thing (hark back to golden rule number one: women’s safety is everyone’s business)
It was frightening and maddening in equal measure. We refused to move or leave before we could not take any more because a pub on a wednesday night (or anywhere on any night) IS NOT A MALE DOMAIN. We should be allowed to have a quiet drink, politely decline an offer and carry the hell on with our night. So the anger made us stay, the fact we were quite absorbed in our conversation. The fact we had the Right to sit there and have a quiet drink. It is this kind of shit, ladies and gentlemen, that makes me mad. And if I had a dollar for every time me or my friends had to put up with unwanted, horrible and borderline violent attention from men without a single “decent” man doing a thing about it, I’d be living in Italy, writing a novel on a lovely balcony somewhere.
I’m not suggesting men get involved in every scenario involving men and women having arguments. But really? REALLY? Do nothing, ever?
So any man who uses the “women play hard to get” argument is probably a rapist. If she plays ‘hard to get’ she’s not interested buddy and leave her alone. If she is, let her go – it’s her loss, you rapist, you.
So ask me again why this shit makes me mad.