Don’t Tell Me to “Be More Careful” Until You Know My Fear For Yourself


If you know what’s good for you, you will read this excellent article by Clementine Ford over at The Daily Life about rape culture and victim blaming. More specifically about the clattering noise of men saying “why are we talking about violence against women? What about violence against men?” in this following article by Karla Dondio, the writer talks about this. It’s like having a discourse about one disease and other people jumping up in arms shouting, what about my disease?

Fuck off, because we are talking about this one issue here. You can have your time later. And CF has really got this right. There are lots of lovely men out there that don’t rape. And there are lots of men out there who tell women to be more careful (as if we aren’t). But the culmination of a lifetime of being whistled at by men in cars, being groped, being talked or shouted at inappropriately, having men up in your goddamn face when you’ve ignored them, kind of gets up down. And makes us scared.

When I’m walking along the street I don’t look men in the face. If a strange man says ‘hello’ to me, my first instinct is fear. Unless your a woman, you don’t know this. I was in the shower last night and remembered I had left the back door open. Sure, there’s a massively high colourbond fence around my courtyard but my first thought was “if someone enters my house and assaults me, people are going to think it is my fault”. What a dick.

Anyway, here’s some of CF’s article. For the rest, click here.

“This is one of the key ways men can be part of the solution, rather than perpetuating the idea that it’s everyone else’s (women’s) problem to solve. Because it’s not just assault that we women have to contend with – it’s also the infiltration of our space. It’s being unsurprised when car loads of men drive past to yell sexual insults out the window or call us fat. It’s having men sit down, uninvited, and expect to be indulged or entertained and call us ugly lesbians if we don’t let them. It’s having men grab you in pubs and tell you to lighten up when you get angry with them. It’s the assumption that women’s space is publicly owned, and any attempts to try and assert otherwise is just the actions of ball-breaking bitches who can’t take a compliment or a joke.

Let me be clear about one thing – the most relentless kind of assault and harassment women experience every day is non-criminal. It’s the kind of harassment that police officers will refuse to even record because they consider it a waste of police time. It’s the kind of harassment that chips away at women’s ideas of what’s okay and what’s not, to the point where they leave the house armed to protect themselves while simultaneously questioning whether or not they’re overreacting or being hysterical or being indirectly insulting to a man who’s just trying to be nice……” continues….

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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