I Know Who I Am But Who the Hell Are You?

Seriously guys. I’m tri-wi-fi-curious. WordPress has some snazzy features that allows me to see that I’m popular in the USofA, Sweden and the United Arab Emirates.

You don’t call, you don’t write. Did you stumble across this blog whilst googling “Scarlett Johanssen Sex Tapes”? Because I know a lot of people do. Regularly. And I know where you’re coming from. She’s a lovely lady. And I’m sorry there was no actual sex tape video embedded in the post, but in my defense I DID put a rather nice picture of her in her underwear on the blog recently so, you know, there’s that.

Anyway, send me a comment or something. Even if it’s horrible. Because then I’ll just tell you to fuck off and carry on with my life and mock you in my head because clearly I’m an adult and that’s how I deal with things. When I’m not sticking my fingers in my ears or crying or such.

If you did just google “Scarlett Johanssen Sex Tapes” and you ended up here, I’m really sorry. You’ll just have to click on the ‘back’ button. But if you are in the mood for funny animal videos, anti-misogynistic rants and a few music videos thrown in for good measure, stick around. Generally I’ve got fuck else to be doing with my life when I’m not at work and if you click long and hard enough, maybe one day someone will advertise hair removal products or services offering women to have their eggs frozen and I can retire on the 4c a week that will bring me.

Much love, me x

*Ooh, I almost forgot. Here’s a lovely, lovely picture of a Fennec Fox, which I aim to own one day. It’s not entirely clear if owning these animals in Australia is “illegal” (yahoo answers is the best google can find and, well, you know, everyone on Yahoo Answers is mental and basically WRONG) but if it was OR if I could (and intend to) circumvent the law, dis baby be mine. You can come visit but don’t tell the cops.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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2 Responses to I Know Who I Am But Who the Hell Are You?

  1. MrsPunKunt says:

    your posts are fantastic, I was linked this as my lovely friend thought I’d enjoy your ranty rants and sweary swear words…she was right!!!

  2. Welcome! I’m off the booze until tomorrow night so prepare yourself for a rant-tastical swearfest.

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