Happy Hogmanay


So it’s 6.30am. My flight arrived at 3am and dearest BFF Datchel came and bloody picked me up from the airport like a pro. He had also filled my fridge with breakfast, lunch and dinner AND bought me a fan cos, you know, it’s like 40 degrees and shit. Anyway, I can’t sleep so I’m drinking expensive whisky out of a teacup and thought I’d crap on to you.

Low: Leaving Scotland. Saddest I’ve been in a Very very Long Time

High: Being told I had been upgraded, upgraded, from peasant class to Business then to First Class. Like a MOFO

Low: First Class on the shorter flight being less impressive than Business on the second

High: Drinking Veuve, Moet and Dom Perignon. A Lot.

Low: Australians no longer allowed to buy cigarettes duty free

High: I’m practically a part-time smoker now so I don’t give a fuck.

Low: Coming home to bills, bills and bills

High: Coming home to a gloriously tidy flat (thanks Yewie) and food and wine and flowers (thanks Dan) and also a terribly grateful and massively sookie cat who is giving me love.

Low: I can’t sleep. I need sleep. I think. And it’s far too hot. And I can’t wear my fur coat or my mittens.

High: No work for seven days. Pleasant.

Anyway, sod it. I’m making myself a bacon sandwich and a cup of glorious tea and maybe another whisky and there is Nothing At All you can say about it. So there. I may also have a valium. Cos that might work. Yes?

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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