Taller, Shorter, Bigger, Faster, Harder

Look, I love the Jezebel, and. being someone who is on the shortish side, I took interest in this piece about height and relationships and shit. Then I quickly tired of it and did not finish reading it. Maybe you can do it or me. *smileyface* thanks.

It’s not adding nor subtracting to the sum total of knowledge I have about height and the opposite sex; namely that I would like a man who is taller (significantly) than me (not hard, really), maybe who has a few lovely muscles, perhaps a lovely tattoo and who can throw me around like a ragdoll (in a mutually consensual yet sexy way, of course).

That’s sex. Of course for relationships i’d like them to: not be a dick, have a job that doesn’t involve me whispering or saying “of course, he’s totally going to get something better” and one they hopefully like, be prepared to throw money at the problem if they can’t fix it yourself and also, not being dick.

Jesus, I’ve seen online dating wishlists about a million times more prescriptive than this. I feel “don’t be a dick” is the clincher. That’s kind of it.

Of course I’m actually a massive bitch and in all probability not ready to date again so unless you have lovey muscles, tattoos, a good job you love, money, have patience with me, are NOT A MASSIVE DICK and a million other things that don’t exist in the real world then it’s Me + Cat 4EVA.

Not the worst thing.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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