Texts from Last Night


Maaan this website is addictive. Makes me want to scroll through my own messages and find something damning, probably sent to/from me by/to Kato.

Here’s a snippet

(208):

I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says “sorry I came in your mouth”

 

(623):

My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.

 

(323):

I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game

 

(310):

All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.

 

(517):

I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.

 

(318):

I’m sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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