Lose Weight with Forgiveness

I got the calorie counter app on my phone so I could see how much exercise I was doing and all those annoying calorie countery sums and numbers things. Apaz I’ve been wasting my time cutting out the booze, walking around the park, saying no to cheese and dip. According to the Calorie Counter people, if you’re just a wee bit like the Dalai Lama, you too, can be as thin as he is. I bear you these gifts from the Very Wise People at the CC app.

“If you’ve struggled with your weight for a very long time, the solution probably lies not in finding the right diet or exercise. Been there, done that, right? Nourish your mind and body with a diet of forgiveness and release your pain along with the pounds..”

Now, it’s unclear if I should forgive myself for trying to be a bit healthier and that one time when me and my friends got drunk and stole three crates of milk in Edinburgh and delivered them to every household in a 1-mile radius or if I am supposed to forgive you, you terrible cunt of a person on whom I wish very bad things. And by that I mean I actually don’t really feel that way about anyone any more. Maybe except Tony Abbot.

I reckon once I’ve gotten over my initial anger at myself/someone, then I start literally not giving a fuck any more. But I’m not sure if that is conducive to weight loss. I’m going to try giving even less of a fuck when either myself or someone else does something His Holiness would roll his eyes at, call it forgiveness and re-calibrate my scales.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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