In the last week I’ve had two emails signed off with “Keep Smiling” and “Health and Happiness”
Well fuck you. What happened to “regards” or “cheers” . Why on god’s green earth do I have to put up with your rosy, mental view on life? I’ve been to yoga classes. I’ve seen how people treat it as a religion (which is fine, but maybe we should separate people who’d like to be healthier and more flexible from the yogis-in-training purlease?)
Your little fucking epithets adjoined to your stupid fucking email (which, by the way. has nothing to do with smiling or happiness) shits me to tears. Because it’s fake and crap and annoying. I’ve met you. You are as akin to smiling and happiness as I am enjoying myself at the kids’ face-painting tent at the local fete. Even if I did, it would be all as fake as everything Kim Kardashian does, ever.
So stop. You’re not changing the world, or making people’s lives better. Hell, you don’t even believe it yourself, or if you do, you’re crazy. Which is better. So fuck off and sign an email with your name and stop trying to make people think you’re happier than they are, because you’re not. You’re a dick.