According to (yes, I know) teh Daily Mail, there’s some kind of creepy campaign by First Response called Get Britain Fertile. Aside from almost yakking at the name, even worse, it’s a campaign to inform women to stop having babies later in life and have them earlier goddamit.
Spearheaded by some TV presenting bint called Kate Garraway who had her kids at 38 and 42, it reeks of fucking patronising, patriarchal double standards and hypocrisy.
The Advert: Thanks Kate!
‘I had my second child at 42 and never questioned at the time that it might be too old’ she says. ‘But I do look back now and realise that leaving pregnancy late can be a risky bet as diminishing fertility can stack the odds against you.
‘That’s why I agreed to become Ambassador to the campaign – I want to alert women to start thinking about their fertility at a younger age than our generation did. They should get prepared and make informed choices early so there is no chance of sleepwalking into infertility.’
So, Kate, everything is fine and rosy for you and yet…..
Honestly, fuck the fuck off. I vacillate between really, really wanting kids and really not wanting them. Shortly I will be 35. The chances of me meeting someone and having a super-great relationship and having children with them by the time I’m 38 are minimal. So if my only option is a one-night stand (STDs? no thanks) or ordering sperm off the internet then I’m going to pass.
I’d like to be a mother. I’d like to have kids. I’d like to get married. But increasingly these things are Just Not Going To Fucking Happen. And I am dealing with that. I am trying to accept it and just live, as you do. I don’t need some fucking campaign to tell me I’ve basically failed at the fundamentals of life.
What Kate “so full of regret” Garraway actually looks like.
It’s hard enough reconciling yourself with the fact that somehow, you’ve been left behind. You don’t understand these things that happen to other people. You’ve got a lovely life and lovely friends and a lovely career and a lovely cat and yet you are constantly told (by inference) that you are a lesser person because you are unloved (or unloveable) and do not know the meaning of actual love because you’ve never had a child.
I probably will never have a child. Sometimes I don’t mind because I find it hard enough to look after myself. Other times I could fucking weep with the desire to have a partner and a family. One day the abortion I had in my 20s will probably be the worst thing I ever did, rather than the best.
All I know is I do not want to be that person that weeps at friends’ kids birthdays or is appraised with well-meaning sympathetic looks. I’m sure I could get up the duff today if I really put my back into it. But that’s not the point. I do not have circumstances that allow a child. And I’m too fucking sensible and not nearly desperate enough to do that.
This is something I try not to think about a lot. And No one needs a bunch of fucktards telling women what they already know. The women having kids later in life are the ones who have finally found someone who is not a dickhead to have them with. They haven’t been married to the love of their life for 20 years and ‘put off’ pregnancy because it would interfere with their lovely careers. They simply have not found a decent human being to procreate with at the time Science and The Stupid World say they should.
However, the internet gods are on my side Kate and First Response. Here’s what happens when someone tries to visit your woman-shaming, patronising bullshit excuse for a website:
You don’t have permission to access / on this server.
Apache/2.2.22 Server at http://www.getbritainfertile.com Port 80
Indeed. I am forbidden to access your site so I cannot feel any worse than I already do.