Oh yeah. This week I have to write a weekend paper piece on why it’s so goddamn good. Easy as motherfucking pie.
But also, hark ye, many people worldwide have been devastated by Monday night’s episode Red Wedding. That is all of you who have not read the books, fools.
It was emotional. And I have to say I kind of envy those fans who have not read the books and didn’t realise George RR Martin is a massive evil genius who kills off major awesome characters as easy as you’d knock the top off a boiled egg.
But it’s ok. Buzzfeed has given unto you a way to get over your trauma of the Red Wedding episode. Hear ye, Hear ye…..
I’ve posted in full because it’s so annoying sometimes to click on links and shit. Also, does anyone care about copyright any more? I’ve attributed in any case. I have no money. Please don’t sue me. Or do. It’ll give me something to do on the weekends.
So, if you tuned into Game of Thrones last night, you probably feel a bit like ol’ craven Sam here:
And you probably understand your emotions less than you can understand the characters’ accents:
But what do we say to your grief?
Let’s work this out.
1. First of all, realize the show you’ve been watching:
2. Now you’re going to need to look at this picture of Jon Snow wearing a shirt with Rob Stark on it:
3. And you’re going to need to look at what Hot Pie’s future holds:
4. Check out this picture of the Stark women blowing bubbles:
5. And the Stark men taking a selfie, complete with some Jon Snow duckface:
6. Now look at Sam the Slayer absolutely swimmin’ in women:
7. You might want to eat a heaping bowl of your favorite cereal:
8. Or look at this picture of hipster Jon Snow:
9. Let’s take things back a step for a second. At LEAST the Frey’s wedding didn’t get photobombed by an Alpaca:
10. Or by a horse:
11. Or by a cat:
12. OK, maybe the Red Wedding was a whole lot worse than that. Man, I’m feeling a whole lot like Joffrey now:
13. Let’s get back on track. You’re going to need to see this picture of Khal Drago doing the radical sign:
14. And this telephone pole ad:
15. If none of this is working, try looking at these clips of Tywin Lannister doing a striptease:
Actually, I take that back. Never look at these:
16. Remember that you still have this beautiful love story:
17. Or this one too:
18. And keep in mind that the next big Taylor Swift song might be written about the Red Wedding:
19. Still sad? Look at Jon Snow discovering an iPhone:
20. Or this picture of the gang shootin’ some pool:
21. And remember, at least your prediction of what happened this season wasn’t as bad as what this guy predicted:
22. OK, now check out the Lannisters in Snuggies:
23. And Arya and Sansa taking a mirror pic:
24. And this basset hound dressed like Sherlock Holmes:
25. And if none of that works, here’s Peter Dinklage walking a dog:
Tyrion walking a dog always works. Always.