Dear Lovely Men-Peeps

Have you ever been told you can’t so something “because you’re a boy“?

Have you ever been denied a pay rise or realised you’re not paid commensurate to your talents because you’re a girl?

Have you ever been told not to walk home alone or actually walk anywhere alone (at any time), or get a taxi alone (get it with friends but then there’s always some poor bitch who’s last but maybe she deserved it) or to trust your friend’s mate to drive you home or to stay where you are because you’ve been promised your own bed and bedroom and for the Love of God do not wear anything nice that shows a bit of leg or a bit of cleavage or even if it doesn’t if you’ve had a few ales or an Asti Spumante or two (or maybe a few bottles of decent SSB if you’re 34 and you’ve bought some Devil’s Lair because you have tolerance and a decent job that means you can afford it and shit) because All of The Above Means You Might Be Sexually Assaulted because you are  not subject to the same law as the penis-carrying ones and basically, a lot of people will think you deserve it.

Even if any of these scenarios do not reflect your own experience, people (assholes) will say you did something to provoke it. Like being female.

Or they were having “troubles” which means you can basically be a massive violent sexual deviant and maybe be totally not responsible the horrid things you did. Oh YUP.

We’re not all “crazy feminazis” (read insecure male name for women who do not act like women in the 1930s), we’re just people (male AND female) who would like things to be nice and lovely and fair. I don’t want things necessarily to be fair, fair, fair, fair so that maners go out the window. I don’t mind paying for my own drinks or dinner, nay, I find it strange but strangely nice if a chap does but a) I know it is my turn next time because b) we are both our own people. But manners are nice.

You can open a door for a woman, have dinner, split the bill (or let her pay) and gratefully give/receive oral sex without the fabric of society being irreparably torn asunder.

We’re not trying to emasculate you. Jesus, we like men because they’re men (not because they are women’hating assholes). I have read enough period romance novels to know what gets me a-right in le bedroom (modern day rugby player throwing me around like a ragdoll most probably). But in real life, give us a bit of credit and treat us like human beings. Just like you, there are horrid ones, ok ones and good ones, nay, great ones.

We’ve got many differences between the genders, which we should appreciate and celebrate and deal with accordingly. But there are many, many things in which we both do a good damn job.

I’m so tired of talking about this. Hold me, middle-class advantaged white male. We got shit to talk about. While I make YOU a sandwich.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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