There’s a bit of a back story to this one and I can’t really be bothered explaining it, but a journo in my office sends out something similar every monday after his AFL team plays on the weekend.
However, our copy runner sent this out as his swan song and basically Give That Man a Job.
The Sum Moot of Glory:
O ye whose faith is so wretchedly threadbare that you cannot bring yourself to believe that the recent restructure was all a ploy to install John Boswell as CEO — harken unto another magnificent rise in share price. Watch as our enthralled readership erupts in a joyous raucous, snubbing all other news vendors as mere simulacrums of journalism. We publish through the gullies of despair and the ravines of outrageous law suits. We advance up the humiliation-strewn screes of adversity, cross a cruelly serrated horizon upon which hover the acidulous Fogs of Mock, marching onwards, ever onwards, that mellifluous proletarian canticle, Good Old ‘The West Australian’ forever, always on our weary lips — onwards to the Summit of Glory.
Ha-ha always wanted to write one of those.
It has been a real pleasure working with so many talented and passionate people, thankyou.
If anyone for whatever reason needs the services of qualified (hopefully) physicist/mathematician with an entrepreneurial bent, I can be contacted on (removed)
Good luck to everyone as they turn a new page!
What a genius.