Yet Another Diatribe on Women as Brood Mares: Yay!

Yes. THIS article. “Should we care that smart women aren’t having kids?”

What is that? Fucking rhetorical? Statistics, statistics, some asshole in a white coat with a bajillion degrees in being a massive twat has decided intelligent women are more likely to NOT have kids and this is terrible for everyone.

Because women are selfish and everyone will get stupider and it’s all the fault of Lady-people.

Well, Mister Good-luck-having-sex-with-your-wife-the-two-times-a-year-she-gives-in-because-you-pester-her-like-a-sex-offender-after-she’s-bred-you-enough-progeny-to-start-your-own-cult. Congratulations.

All of your little numbers and figures don’t take into account the following:

1. Not all women want to have children. We’ve got awesome contraception these days. That means choice. Not all of them are maternal. Some would like nice holidays to the south of France.

2. Not all women find a man they’d be comfortable breeding with. Since we stopped being chattel and were farmed off to husbands and the like, we can be a bit picky.

3. Not all men want to have children with the women they currently share a bed/house/mortgage with.

4. Yes, careers, we have them. Sometimes what you do in life can and will be better than passing on your genetics. Which anyone can do. Almost like driving in Perth.

5. Kids are great. They’re just fine. Despite my invective above, I defend any woman’s right to have them. Mostly. I’m 50-50. Don’t care if I have them, don’t care if I don’t. And mostly, I don’t want them. I even offered to babysit child-of-my-dreams Soph, until her Mum told me she had foot-hand-mouth something something that got her kicked out of childcare. I may have also offered a dear friend my womb for surrogacy purposes but appaz I’d have to have one of my own rugrats first and keep it before that was allowed under stupid government rules and such. Children can be charming. I just don’t want them in my face the whole time. I imagine me, after a few SSBs the night before, still in bed, being jumped on by eager kids with their schoolbags, who have made their own breakfast, begging me to take them to school. And its 11.30am. That would totally happen.

6. For the love of almighty god, can you please, please, stop subjugating women and their choices and lives and bring everything back to Basic Fucking Biology? That would be nice. Dear Mr White Coat Study Man, come to my house for a week. Sleep on my couch. Watch my interactions with Lady-people and the Male ones. Look at my kitchen sink and ask yourself why I don’t have kids. Wonder why so many single ladies have cats. Ask yourself how I could possibly conceive, with a stranger after 8 shots of Good Tequila, when the man upstairs is constantly renovating.

7. Get fucked. Procreation is great. Practicing this is also great. I may be a “smart” woman with several degrees but unless I get a good fucking incentive, this laying hen is gonna be strutting the yard. And then dying alone.


About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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