Loch McStupid Bullshit Gaelic Arseballs Patronising Stromach

Not since the Kailyard and Sir Walter Scott has Scotland been so parodied for (apparently) the greater good. Yes, I woke up on the couch and started watching Hamish MacBeth.

Probably made by the writers of Ballykissangel, this show is the most patronising, horrible representation of Scotland since forever. Even Laird of the Glen had a few slightly historical accuracies in it. Don’t even GET ME STARTED ON THE ACCENTS in this stupid show.

Welsh, Irish, psuedo Newcastle, Lowland Scots. FFS. Kill Me Now. “eegit”, which is used liberally, is an Irish word. Scots do not use it. Ever.

I do like a bit of Robert Carlisle (I once brushed past him in a 24-hour shop in the south side of Edinburgh AFTER Trainspotting when I was about 20) but honest to goodness to fuck, Carlisle, really?

If there’s one thing that fucks me off, it is accents. So many Scottish-based movies have employed Glaswegians, Highlanders, Islanders, people from fucking Dundee, which ruins everything when you are trying to place an historical film in space and time.

Let’s look at that William Wallace travesty with Mel Gibson. Unlike my dear adopted home, Australia, people have different accents within 50 miles of each other, even less). I like a bit of authen-fucking-ticity with my Scottish TV shows/movies/everything.

Look at Taggart. Authentic. Laird of the Glen (I give it 5/10 for accents).

So if you’re going to film some farcical bullshit Highlands-based idiot-box show and put it on the telly and want anyone but the English to watch it, take advantage of the Highlands’ high unemployment rate, alcohol and heroin problem and get people with proper accents to play extras in the pub, playing the fruit machine.

Endy Story.



About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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