If And When Abbott Wins My Uterus Will Explode

Can you hear that sound? It’s the sound of millions of uteruses imploding. While we’re at it can we also stop Abbott’s daughters from being all Big Love creepy as fuck?

I’m resigned (almost) to the fact this fuckstick will be our next PM. We can talk about “political gaffs” all we like but let’s get real here folks – the man is a racist, sexist, arrogant liar. You don’t keep making these idiotic comments about women and ironing and sex appeal and bullshit without actually believing them.


He has three-word slogans and precious fucking little detail on how he will fund ANYTHING, EVER. For the love of god I hope Malcolm Turnbull starts pulling the strings and soon. There is no party in Australia that deserves my vote. and yet I must vote a) because voting is compulsory and I’d rather not get a fine thanks and b) I must vote for someone who is not Abbott/Liberal. And take note, Euro-friends, in Australia, Liberal does Not Mean what it says in the dictionary. Just like the Labour Party is spelled Labor here in Oz (another mystery I have never solved, a bit like why everyone hates Collingwood and why they pronounce Maroon (“marron”) incorrectly).


Anyway, pledging to reduce the amount of refugees accepted into Australia, “turning back the boats”, throwing asylum seekers who are already here out of the country and basically demonstrating a complete lack of empathy or humanity whatsoever is what this man is proudest of. It makes me want to vomit. IT IS NOT ILLEGAL TO SEEK ASYLUM. Also, there are more visa-overstayers, and “illegal immigrants” who arrive by plane. Lastly, it is the mark of a mature and compassionate country that it accepts and fosters refugees, not demonising them and inspiring hatred and racism. I wish I didn’t care about politics and who runs the country, but I do. And come September I am seriously going to consider if I can live in my adopted homeland any more.

Don’t even get me started on Abbott’s inherent sexism. Fine, I’ll just go back to the ironing then, shall I? Oh *Bang*. One of my ovaries just set off like a fire cracker. Wait for the rest.



About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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