In the last week or two:
“You’re a scumbag! But I’m also a scumbag. How the hell are you?”
“No message back motherfucker? Are you pissed off or something? – no bullshit”
“I love you more than any dairy product you care to mention”.
“Your Synergy account is overdue by $132.19”. Oh, that’s not one (searches some more)
“Muppet. You are a Muppet.” Call me back, Muppet.”
“I may have to go to XXXXX to interview a cunt”.
“Go and Earn some fucking money FFS”
“Your cat is fat and she is also a bitch. Discuss”.