Dear People Who Voted Like Dicks….


….Yes, I’m talking to you, Australia. A vote is a precious thing. And I know that Australin politics has been an absolute fucking disaster for the last several years. I, along with my slightly to the left friends, did not want to vote for Labor but nor could we bring ourselves to vote Liberal and the Mad Monk.

But at least I fully considered how I voted and what impact it would have. Well done Victoria, for voting in a Senator who had 0.5% of the vote and won on preferences. Oh and represents the MOTOR ENTHUSIAST PARTY.

Yes, Ricky Muir is your man. In WA we can’t talk. At least we’re having a fucking recount. And the Palmer United Party? Oh Jesus. Let’s see what this does about the Senators-elect we were given after the first count.

But here’s the problem with voting in Australia:

1. It is mandatory. You don’t vote and you ain’t got a proper excuse, you get a fine. Leading to Donkey votes and votes for idiots.

2. It costs a mere few hundred dollars to set up your own party and run for the goddamn SENATE.

3. Mark “1” above the line OR (as I have done before but will never do again) number 1-67 in order of preference. The ballot sheet was a foot and a half long. I WAS going to do it and then I was a bit hungover and I couldn’t decide which bunch of fucking idiots to put in the bottom 10, let alone the next 50 so I did not. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

4. Backroom preference deals mean some dumb dickhead who ran for a laugh has been elected a Senator. Representing the people. Hope he/she is reading up on Parliamentary process and shit. Anyway, I give you exhibit A: The Motor Enthusiast Party. As of July next year Ricky will be representing the interests of Victoria. Brilliant. Read the party’s constitution and then wonder if the joke vote you decided to pull was worth it. PS one of their ‘core values’ is MATESHIP. FFS.

The people get the government they deserve.

Behold: Your friendly Victorian Senator. And also the party’s constitution. Excellent.

RICKY-MUIR-wide-620x349

The Motor Enthusiast Party

1.1.0  Objectives:

1.1.1    The objectives of the AMEP shall be:

a)    To promote and foster due consideration for the freedoms and beliefs of the motor enthusiast community regardless of motoring discipline.

b)    to formulate a platform and policies conducive to that objective and foster positive greater community understanding of the motor enthusiast lifestyle

c)    to advocate for equitable judicial process for motor enthusiasts

d)    to advocate for standards and legislation that are safe, affordable and workable as they apply to motor enthusiasts

e)    to actively campaign against discrimination towards the motor enthusiast community wherever it may arise.

f)     to foster amicable discourse between the motor enthusiast community and the Automotive Aftermarket Industry.

g)    to foster amicable discourse between the motor enthusiast community and all levels of Government, Agencies, Authorities and bureaucracies.

h)    to identify and address bureaucratic inefficiencies and inadequacies as they relate to the motor enthusiast community

i)    to select candidates adhering to the Constitution, beliefs and ideals of the AMEP and secure their election to the Australian Senate

j)    to continue to evolve the focus, platform & policies of the AMEP in response to the attitudes and beliefs of AMEP members

k)    to develop to the fullest extent the sense of Nation in Australia

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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