Texts During the Second Last Episode of The Bachelor


– with the delightful Kato…

“I want to punch the Bachelor in the face. Twice.”

“It’s a car crash.”

“Tim’s got that vague expression again. It’s his default look. Confused and bewildered with a side order of stupid and socially retarded.”

bach 1

He does this A LOT.

“He also looks like he’s brushing his hair with axle grease.”

“He looks like a cunt.”

“This will do wonders for (Anna’s) legal career.”

“If he drops Ali I’m genuinely concerned she may self harm.”

“Her constantly watery eyes, like a Japanese anime character, make me want to offer her a razor.”

“Words I never want to hear again: Opening up, journey, feelings, rose ceremony, alone time/ one-on-one time and TIM.”

“If we were playing The Bachelor bingo drinking game we would both be dead.”

“A poem??????”

“Brutal. Almost as Brutal as Anna’s bonkers hair.”

“”It all comes down to what Tim wants”. Feminism, take a bow, you’re clearly no longer wanted here.”

“This is basically awful.”

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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