However the Winner of Basically Everything is….


Senator Scott Ludlam and his welcome speech to Tony Abbott.

WA has to vote (compulsorily) AGAIN because the Electoral Commission lost a bunch of votes. So lets throw $7-12 million at a recount once we’ve all trudged back to the polling stations after the fucking debacle that was last year’s election. To my dear readers overseas, we have a choice. Tick one box (for your preferred candidate and if he/she doesn’t get enough votes your vote will be distributed to their preference. This is how some dickhead from the Motoring Enthusiast Party got in) OR number 1-67 IN ORDER of your best to worst or “below the line” as they call it here. The ballot sheet is Three Feet Long. In the words of Sweet Brown “ain’t nobody got time fo that”.

I take voting seriously. I believe it is important to exercise my right to vote. I disagree with compulsory voting. But if someone like myself cannot or will not spend an hour numbering the candidates 1-67 with no mistakes (thereby unintentional donkey vote) and the ballot paper is THREE FEET EFFING LONG then what the actual fucking fuck is the point?

Anyway, watch Scott Ludlam with his awesome speech to basically an empty room. Luckily we have internets and they are not all about Tony Abbott memes that should make everyone who voted for him realise they make Bad Decisions because he went viral. Not the ‘viral’ PR companies use when you get more than 1000 hits, but really, actually viral. Like hitting on a mil viral.

Do have a look. Alongside the NZ Parliament passing of Gay Marriage with the “Big Gay Rainbow” speech and Julia Gillard’s “I will not be lectured on sexism and misogyny by this man” smackdown, Ludlam’s speech is magnificent. However just for sartorial elegance (but also plagiarism) Bill Shorten’s “cheese eating surrender monkeys” makes me snort and laugh in an entirely unladylike manner.

So here are all three, as chosen by me. Dear Oscar Committee, you should call me.

First and Foremost: The LudSlam (thank you to Sabian Wilde for coining this…

“Prime Minister, you are welcome to take your heartless, racist exploitation of people’s fears and ram it as far from Western Australia as your taxpayer-funded entitlements take you…..We want our country back…game on Prime Minister.

Big Gay Kiwi Rainbow. Love Maurice Williams and weep….

Gillard, showing women everywhere the kind of cunts they have to put with, even though they have vaginas amd run the country…..

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About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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