Fuck! Fear! Total Fuckedness! A Liberal Love Story…

When I think about the Australian Government at the moment, I can hardly breathe with anger. I could rag on like a broken record repeatedly banging its head against the wall and pushing heavy shiteful rocks uphill, only to have them rinse and repeat for all eternity in some Sisyphean nightmare.


I’m stunned, devastated, angry, feel utterly disempowered and totally fucked by a) the Abbott Government and b) the Australian electoral system. And it all comes down to this; LIES, MISDIRECTION, EVASION, CUNTFUCKERY and basic awfulness. So. Here Be Some Things.

1. We have an economic crisis on our hands. No, no we do not.


2. If the budget is not returned to surplus, the sky will fall in. No, no it will not.

3. A Tony Abbott-led Government will NOT increase taxes. Instead, he will call it a “deficit levy” and claim it’s not a tax because it would only be for a few years.

4. Pre-election, TA says there will be no changes to the aged pension. Then reckons if he introduces it in a second term, it doesn’t count as broken election promise.

5. Moves to abolish mining tax, carbon tax. Suggests we should all pay rich, educated women six months of their wages in maternity leave so they “rejoin the workforce”. Studies show women in highest tax brackets are most likely to rejoin the workforce and the expense of childcare is the biggest barrier, especially for those in the lowest brackets.


6. Claps as George Brandis announces that “everyone has a right to be a bigot” and moves to repeal sections of the Discrimination Act.

7. Appoints one woman to his cabinet. Afghanistan has more. Blithely states appointments were made on “merit” and hopes women try a bit harder next time. Also can’t remember the names of the female members of his trade delegation. “There were some ladies here….”

8. Claims he is not a misogynist because HOT DAUGHTERS

9. Removes portfolios for mental health, science, heaps of important things. Sport is safe though. Phew.

10. Cuts funding to dozens of organisations that have demonstrated social and economic benefit. Too many to bother listing. Look it up.


11. Hates the environment. Allows dredging at Great Barrier Reef. Says there are too many environmental areas “locked up” by protectionary measures. Ignores UNESCO.

12. Treasurer says “we all have to bear the pain”. Policies and probable budget announcements to come basically hurt the most vulnerable in our society. However tax benefits to big mining companies – A-OK!

13. All but confirms Medicare co-payment, thus targeting the people who need affordable healthcare the most and have the most difficulty accessing it. PS I have health insurance. What the fucking fuck is the fucking gap and why am I not covered for pretty much everything? I don’t clog up the bulk-billing system because others need it more. But why doesn’t my cover cover me? Sheejus.


14. Generally displays disregard and contempt for indigenous people, those with disabilities, women, refugees I could go on but, let’s say “anyone not in the top 5%”

15. Is a total cunt to people fleeing persecution quite legally. Calls them “illegal”. NOT ILLEGAL. Cares nothing for the situation in Syria, nor the fact that unlikely countries are taking in literally millions of refugees. PS, they are crucifying people in Syria now.


16. Says he will ‘Stop the Boats’ by basically not telling anyone about the boats. Equivalent to fingers in ears ‘lalalalalalala’. As a bonus round, fucks off Indonesia by repeatedly invading their jurisdiction and spends millions on advertising ‘don’t come to Australia’ campaigns and then asks third world countries with dubious human rights issues and no agreement with UNHCR to take refugees. Pleasant.

16. Appears not to consult his party, elected members or ministers before announcing stupid/shitty stuff. Bringing back knighthoods, for example. Or pretending a tax he promised wouldn’t happen wasn’t a tax and leaving everyone else to clean up the mess.

I’m not done, but I am stopping now. It’s too saddening, maddening and utterly crap. Whether you point the finger at Labor for being a bunch of children in the playground who can’t get on, the Greens, for turning their backs on Labor because they don’t know the meaning of compromise and WHALESRAINFORESTTHATSWHY or Australia for having the most fucked-up voting system in the western world, meaning ballot sheets are five feet long and even though Louise Pratt gets more votes Below the Line than that twat Joe Bullock and is still ousted, the fact remains that we got what we deserve. Because we allow too many people to make terrible decisions on our behalf.


This is not democracy when a member of the hunting/shooting/fishing/sprots/motoring enthusiast/sandwich whatever micro-party pays a few thousand bucks and gets themselves elected because PREFERENCES. And you cannot say voting is a democratic right and then FORCE people to vote or they will be fined. Irony, anyone?

But, you got to go way down before you can come up. Right now the way I feel is: Australia; make me a fucking sandwich.




About ohhellwhatthehell

I like gin, mittens and otters, not necessarily in that order. Here's some stuff I felt like writing down when I'm not chained to a desk writing other things for a living. Please use caution when using this site; there may be sweary words, cute animals and general bullshit. Don't say I didn't fucking warn you.
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