Things that are not strangers I have fought with on Facebook about sexual harassment and various stuff this week that has occurred in the capital of Western Australia and that have pissed me off are (in no particular order):
1. People crashing their cars into houses. Once a week. Mostly narrowly missing terrified citizens watching some crap on the telly, rather than sleeping in the bedroom that would have gotten them killed. Honestly, What The Actual Fuck?
2. People going to the supermarket with no shoes on. You are disgusting. I can’t buy fresh produce when I see you. Put Some Fucking Shoes On. If not, I hope you step on dog poo and glass repeatedly on the way home. No really, I do.
3. Every TV advert or a show that says and writes in giant text, with ‘pew pew’ noises and dramatic pauses: You WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT…The MOST SHOCKING EPISODE YET….WHAT WILL HAPPEN????? another fucking episode of Home and Away, NCIS, The Mentalist, fucking Border Security. That’s what will happen. How will you up the ante from here? We’ve already had bombs, murder, more people lying about their visas and every archetypal soap-style figure doing something cray-cray. How are you going to beat that??? Cats? Yes, you should.
4. The Federal Government. I say no more on this. Fucked doesn’t even cover it.
5. Competitive home renovation shows. Just fuck off already. I’m watching paint dry.
6. My upstairs neighbour who *may or may not be running a knocking shop but who also drops things that sound like marbles on the floor and moves furniture at 3am.
Ooh. That felt better. Thanks.